6 Months On - How I'm Coping

A few days ago marked the six month anniversary of my sons death. Actually as I'm writing this it is the 7 month anniversary of his birth, so i apologise if this post seems a little all-over-the-place.

I just wanted to update everyone on how I am coping in my day to life.

First of all I am still very much shut in my house ninety percent of the time. It's not a healthy thing to do and I know that, but I can't deal with seeing pregnant women and babies in the street. This is something I'm going to have to deal with soon enough as we are trying to conceive. I think this is mainly due to wanting to be pregnant rather than being reminded of my first pregnancy. I remember these feeling from when we were trying for Edward.

A few people in my family have recently announced their pregnancies and this has also been quite hard to deal with. I'm not angry or upset by any of this news. I couldn't be happier for them. I know they'll all be great parents. But I have cried at the news every time. Once I've cried a little, I'm fine.

Yesterday I received a phone call from my doctor. (I've never had a doctor like this one. He rang the day after my son passed away as soon as he heard the news and also rang the day of the funeral to check I was okay) He had been at the hospital that my son was admitted to and the consultant had asked how I was doing. (also a big shock as I don't expect anyone from there to remember really) He's booked an appointment for me to come in to chat with him next week and the consultant has also offered me counseling. I am thinking of taking him up on this offer. It couldn't hurt right?

(The results from this meeting have been updated on the post : Inquest Results And Consultant Visits)

On the up side every time I think of Edward now I think of the happier things we had (even though they were few) rather than "that day". Of course I still have times where all I want to do is cry and I'm sad for what we should have but I am also grateful for what we did have.