Rosie Is Three

Today, my dog, Rosie turns three. In light of the day I've decided to share some of my favourite photos of my crazy pet.

Motivation

Motivation is something I have a problem with. I've not always had an issue with it. I used to be able to get up in the mornings and get everything done. However, lately it's just escaped me. "To do" lists remain unfulfilled and unchecked on my desk, the dishes have pilled up, and the ironing remains un-ironed in favour of books to be read and television to be watched.

I wish had a list of things to put here, about how to find motivation and get things done, but I don't. I have absolutely no motivation at all and I can't give you any tips on how to get out of that. Instead I'm going to share with you a list of things that I have been putting together, of goals I hope to reach over the next few months.

Make a doctors appointment. This may seem like an easy thing for most people to do. Surely you just pick up the phone, ring the surgery and make an appointment. Unfortunately I have a very high level of anxiety and talking on the phone is terrifying. Also, the surgery panics me quite badly. But I need to get over it.

Blog more. I love doing this and once I get into the flow of sitting down and writing a blog post, I wish I had more to share with you guys. I love writing and I love blogging and hope to be doing it for a long time.

Get out of the house more. Due to zero motivation I rarely get out of my pajamas let alone leave the house. I need to learn to get moving in the mornings and get outside for at least a little bit each day. I shall go crazy if I'm to be stuck in the house every day.

Work more. I've recently gone back to work after a year out. It's slow work and only a few days here and there but I want to be able to say yes to shifts without panicking like crazy and dreading the day approaching.

Apply for school jobs. Come September the pub I'm currently working in will be closing and I'd really like to go back to working in a school. I'm qualified as a teaching assistant and worked as a one to one support assistant for two years. I loved it and although I originally said I'd never work with kids again after losing my son, I think I'm ready to go back.

Look after myself more. If I'm going to be perfectly honest with myself (and lets face it that's important) things have got really difficult to deal with lately. After losing Edward someone told me that the first year will be the hardest. I don't remember who that was but if I remember, I shall be having words with them. Because although the first set of milestones (birthdays, Christmas, mothers day) were very hard, grief has no time limit. Things have become increasingly difficult to deal with and we've been offered little to no help with coping. If it weren't for my GP taking it upon himself to ring me in his own time, no one would know if I were still alive. So, I've decided I need to go and get some help with things and I need to start caring that I'm okay more.

Sort out the house. I've always been particular when it comes to where things go. Everything has a place and nothing really needs to be left out. However, due to the things I've mentioned in the last post, I've let it all slip and my house is a jumble of things. I need to sort through paperwork and get rid of the stuff that is still packed away from when we moved in two years ago. If I haven't unpacked them by now then surely I don't really need whatever is in there.

Do any of you have any issues staying motivated? If so, how do you cope with it?

Happy Easter

Five Good Things About This Week

Weather The Weather this week has been really sunny. It's rather unexpected during the month of April but it is welcomed. Hopefully this will see us through spring and into the summer months now. Fingers crossed!

Lunch With My Friends Very rarely do I leave the house these days. It's something I've been trying to change lately. This week I've had lunch twice with my best friend. A lovely change to the mundane routine I have going.

Movies The beginning of the week was filled with movies for us, after a few lazy days in front of the tele. We bought The Hobbit: Desolation Of Smaug last week and, admittedly, I've watched it twice in the last few days. I regret nothing.

Unexpected Family Meetings This week I've bumped into my sister and my father unexpectedly whilst in town. I don't see my sister very often so I love it when I do get to spend some time with her. Now just to track down my elusive brother.

Baking I have done a lot of baking this week. Nothing lasted more than a few hours after exiting the oven but I'm fine with that.

Body Hair

With the recent Veet commercial sparking many comments about body hair lately, I thought I'd weigh in my two cents worth.

Body hair has been something of a controversial topic of conversation for quite some time now, with many people thinking their opinions on someone else's body truly matters. Please understand that's not what I am doing. I am writing this post purely with the intentions of telling people that whatever you do with your body, it's no one else's business but your own.

If you want to shave all your body hair off, fine. If you don't want to shave anything, fine. If you want to show yourself off, fine. And if you want to keep your body private, guess what, also fine. The only person that should dictate the rules for you, is you. And the whole idea that having body hair isn't womanly is absolutely ludicrous. Women naturally grow body hair. Sorry to tell you, but it's the truth. 

Watch The Veet Commercial Here

Many peoples first reaction to seeing body hair (mainly armpit hair on women if we're all honest with ourselves) is "eww!" And it really irks me. Body hair, or the lack thereof, does not determine anyone's personal hygiene.

When I was about fourteen someone made a comment about the hair on my arms being dark. All of my body hair is dark. My hair is naturally brown so it would be. The words this person used, were to compare my arm hair to a mans. Which, if I think about it now, is completely ridiculous. But fourteen year old Amanda felt very insecure and I've shaved my arm hair most weeks since then. Granted now I do it because I'm getting tattoo work done, but still.

Feeling the need to comment on anyone else's body is madness.

Similarly, after a conversation with my friends at the age we were becoming women, I removed my pubic hair in the fear that someone wouldn't like me if i had it. It was something I kept up with, removing most of my body hair daily for nearly ten years before I realised, I didn't actually want to.

Again I want to stress that I'm not telling you that you're wrong if you want to remove your body hair, but purely that you should do it for you and not because someone wants you to or you feel you must.

It's your body and you need to be happy with it.

Snapshots From Our Weekend #3

This weekend marked the last few days before Paddy returned to work. We kicked off the weekend by having lunch in our local with our friends and their son, in a late celebration of Paddy's birthday. (It's just occurred to me that it seems we spend a lot of our time in the pub but I promise we don't)

The rest of the weekend was fairly relaxed and we only left the house to walk the dog, watching little shop of horror and other movies on the T.V. The weather's been surprisingly bright. (Fingers crossed this is actually spring making an appearance now)

Friday Catch Up #4

This week Paddy has been on holiday, so I've had him home from work everyday, and it's been so nice to have some company. It's not until I'm around people that I realise how lonely it can get on my own.

We had originally planned on going somewhere, doing something, but opted instead for lazing around the house all week. It's been so nice not having to do something or be somewhere.

Sometime it's important to take a step back and do nothing.

Book Recommendation : Equal Rites

"The last thing the wizard Drum Billet did, before Death laid a bony hand on his shoulder, was to pass on his staff of power to the eighth son of an eighth son. Unfortunately for his colleagues in the chauvinistic (not to say misogynistic) world of magic, he failed to check on the new-born baby's sex..."

I first read this book when I was about fourteen, having exhausted all of the books on my own book shelf and raiding my fathers. This was the first Terry Pratchett book I ever read and it became, not only my favourite Pratchett book, but my favourite book in general. I did later have to buy my own copy as I read my fathers so much all the pages fell out.

The story follows a young girl,thrown into a world of magic deemed to be the wrong king for her gender, as she sets of in search for education. The story features one of my favourite characters, Granny Weatherwax. An old witch who holds no punches and tells everyone exactly what she thinks. It is beautifully written and I'd encourage anyone who hasn't read it before, to read it. 

Abergavenny And Lunch

Today Paddy's parents visited us because it was his birthday on Sunday. We decided to take a trip out to Abergavenny today, to wander around the market, stopping off at the lamb and flag for lunch. All in all it was a relaxing day, despite it's stressful start.

Snapshots From Our Weekend #2

This weekend saw the beginning of a week off for Paddy. We spent Friday and Saturday lazing around the house in comfy clothes watching films and eating junk food. Sunday, however was a little more productive as it was Paddy's birthday. He wont thank me for tell you, but I've told everyone so it doesn't really matter. (He really doesn't like his birthday) We went out for drinks and a meal with everyone from his work that day so didn't really celebrate it properly but we'll do something during the week with friends.

Friday Catch Up #3

This week has been rather hectic for me. I started off the week trying daily posts only to fail on Wednesday after a bad morning. I'm going to try again starting Monday, writing some posts in advance may be the solution to my problem.

Yesterdays post was lost in time as well after an unexpected call from my boss asking me to come into work. It was my first day back after nearly two years out. It went well and was a fairly quiet day. The perfect day to get back into things. I'm still having terrible trouble getting to grips with the till but it never did have any structure to it. I also came home smelling of ale, which was rather odd.

At the beginning of the week I put Paddy's dreadlocks back in. They're settling in well, only being a few days old they're quite fuzzy still but will tighten up as they get older. I shall keep you all posted on their development and do a more in depth post on how we maintain them in the future.

Starting Dreadlocks

Before I start writing up this post, I want to say that everyone has their own way for doing dreadlocks. This is merely the way that we've found works best for our hair. There's also a huge debate on whether its good to use a crochet hook this early on in the process. Again this is different for everyone and this is the way we do it, so I'd appreciate if you don't agree with this method, that you not post comments to that effect. This is just me telling you how I do dreadlocks.

I'd say it was best to have a metal comb with teeth that are really close together (like a flea or lice comb) but unfortuantely all we could find in our entire town was plastic. I've used plastic combs before and usually the teeth break terribly during the backcombing process. We were lucky this time.

I start by sectioning the hair into inch by inch sections and braiding it so i know where i'm going. I work line after line, braiding and then working through that line of braids dreadlocking. If you're doing them on yourself I would recomend sectioning and braiding your entire head before you start. It makes it easier.

To make the actual dreadlocks I take the section of hair and gently backcomb the entire thing. You want to make sure the knots start close to the scalp and are packed tightly together. This may take a few passes through the section. I find if you backcomb it in small sections rather than pulling the comb through the entire length (work through bit by bit - I hope this is making sense) you avoid giant loops in the backcombed mess. (not that this matters truthfully if you plan on crocheting you can pull these in)

Once you have the entire section backcombed, take the crochet hook (I use a 0.75mm as the hook is small enough that it wont leave holes in the dreads and can still grab the hairs) and hold the dreadlock tightly. Starting at the root you want to put the crochet hook all the way through the dreadlock until the hook is out the other side and then pull it into the middle of the dreadlock. As you pull it into the middle of the dreadlock, the hook will pull hairs with it. Continue this motion and you should feel the dreadlock tighting in your grip. Move down the dreadlock to tighten the whole thing.

Repeat this process with every section of hair you want to dreadlock. As i've mentioned it's a long process so if you plan on doing this, take at least an entire day off to do so. I usually like to work over a weekend as I can stop for breaks and spread the work over the days I have. It will save your faingers from the dreaded crochet hook. That thing really will hurt if you stab yourself. Be careful.

If any one tries this please please please send me pictures. I love to see them. You can send them to my tumblr my e-mail or tweet me pictures here:

amandaalis.tumblr.com

amandaalis@live.co.uk

@amanda_alis