I've briefly touched on this subject a few times, but felt that I should delve a little deeper into it as I'm currently trying to pull myself back from a major slip.
I've had issues with food for as long as I can remember. In fact I don't think I've eaten properly since i was old enough to feed myself. I picked up some odd eating habits from watching my mother. There were many things wrong with it all, that i'm not going to go into. I don't really wish to discuss the details of my struggle when I was younger, but I will tell you that over the past year I've fallen pretty bad into some old habits.
Obviously things over the past year haven't been great, but I noticed it before it got too bad. I'm hoping that if I can pull myself back from it now, that I can avoid any further issues.
I've always been thin. I'm never going to be big or curvy. That's not my body shape. However, I have been at lower weights than I should, many times before and I don't want to return to that state. After noticing my weight drop, and realising I've been skipping more meals than I should, I headed to the nurse for a check up. Everything seems to be in working order at the moment, so this is my chance to turn it around. As everyone, I have good days, and bad days. On good days, I realise my eating is ridiculous, and I am able to eat properly with no guilt and actually want to turn things around. On bad days, I know my eating is ridiculous but I just can't convince myself that gaining weight or eating normally is a good thing. On very bad days, I don't want to even consider getting better. Sometimes I like the broken.
Right now, I'm doing okay. I've eaten really well over the past few days, which may not seem like a lot to some but it is to me. And i'm taking up running to help build muscle tone because right now i look like I've got skeleton legs.
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